How to Survive the 4 Month Sleep Regression
Hey there mama-Did your beautiful baby start sleeping these really great long stretches- and now all of a sudden it’s like you have a newborn again?
You maybe wondering what the heck changed or if you did something wrong to cause all these night wakings.
Well I can tell you its not you, its your baby.
If your baby is between 3-5 months and suddenly waking more frequently- they are likely going through what’s called “the four month sleep regression”. To be more technical, your baby’s brain is going through a physical change (a progression) which often results in a 4 month sleep regression. Yes, it makes no sense, progression=regression, but let me explain.
Around the 3-5 month mark a baby’s brain goes through a major permanent physical change, transitioning from a newborn sleep cycle pattern to a more adult-like sleep cycle pattern. Each sleep cycle goes in a wave, like this:
As baby comes out of each sleep cycle they come into light sleep again, meaning they will have a partial or complete wake up.
Yes, you read that right your baby is waking up between every sleep cycle and so are you, you just don’t realize it. We all wake up multiple times during the night and assess our environment, make sure we are safe and nothing around us has changed. This is a big reason why it is so helpful to teach your baby to fall asleep in their sleep environment and not your arms. Because if they fall asleep in your arms and later wake up alone in their crib they are going to likely wake up confused and upset as to why they still aren’t snuggled up to you. It would be like you falling asleep in your bed only to wake up on the couch.
Around this age of transition, a baby is now producing sleep hormones and beginning to develop a circadian rhythm. These new changes are a work in progress and take time to solidify.
Things that worked before to get your baby to sleep, suddenly don’t work anymore. And they may not nap on the go like they used to.
So here are some things you do to not only just survive, but thrive during this trivial transition time.
How you can handle night wakings:
First, a night waking doesn’t necessarily mean your baby is hungry. Unless your baby needs night feedings or your pediatrician is recommending night feedings, you can try to solve night wakings without jumping to feed your baby as the first measure to console. There is a good chance these night wakings are not hunger related, but instead from sleep cycles transitions. As exhausting as this is for you, your baby is learning what to do to get back to sleep.
Wait to intervene.
Give your baby a chance to fall back asleep on their own. This doesn't mean leaving them to cry, but giving them the opportunity to fuss and figure out self-soothing before jumping to the rescue. They will not be able to master the skill of falling back asleep independently unless you give them the space and opportunity to practice this skill.
Make feeding your last resort to console.
Unless your pediatrician has instructed you otherwise (meaning your baby still needs consistent night feeds), make feeding your last resort to soothe. Many babies still may need 1 or 2 night feeds at this age, but you can help naturally wean these feeds by making this the last resort.
Here is a pro tip: If your baby is truly hungry, he or she will be able to take a FULL feed and be placed back down awake to fall asleep on their own.
If baby is taking partial feeds or falling asleep during the feed, they are likely using eating as a means to fall asleep (what we call a sleep prop) and not for hunger needs.
If you use feeding as a means to put your baby back to sleep every time, that will become the standard. They will learn to fall asleep by eating. You will create a little milk monster, so do your best to break up eating and sleeping. If you feed your baby during the night (which they very well may need it), be sure they are being put down awake after eating.
Place your baby back down awake to fall asleep.
You may be thinking yeah right, you don’t know my kid. But hear me out.
This is the magical, mystical key to getting your baby to sleep through the night. Even if they are waking to eat once or twice or just need a snuggle, this is what will allow your baby to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night.
Give them the chance, you will likely be surprised at what they are capable of.
Allow them the opportunity to practice falling asleep without your help. Place them in the crib calm and awake, then step out of sight or walk out give them the space to practice this new skill. This is the one skill in “sleep training” your baby will need in order to sleep through the night. Start allowing your baby to practice this skill now. With this skill, your baby will be more likely to develop independent sleep and start sleeping through the night.
words of encouragement during this transition
This sleep regression is hard. It was the hardest for me. So give yourself a lot of grace when the nights feel long, you don't feel like you’re doing a thing right, or you just want to cave and nurse them to sleep.
This regression will last anywhere from 2-6 weeks. Which may not be what you want to read, but allow me to share some words of encouragement too.
If you stay consistent in how you handle night wakings, you will lay a solid foundation for independent sleep for when this regression is over. Not to mention, you will see better sleep stretches during this regression, giving you and baby better rest.
You got this mama, thankfully it’s only a season. Your baby has all the potential to be a great sleeper, start here.
I hope you sleep well,
Sar
